Baby Don't Fall

Imagine this: this really happened. (Not the picture: the picture's fake. It's actually a statue of a couple of angel boys fighting). This is what's true: woman comes in, she's all shook up, she runs a hotel over there, night manager. Gets a phone call. Baby fell out of a second floor window, right through the screen. Second floor. Baby's fine. Horrible thing--common too, I bet. How many children fall out of windows like this every single day? (You'd think I'd know the answer to that question, but I don't: I'm blogging. I got a license to muse, dude: a license to muse.) Anyway. Here's the product: I made it up: I'm calling it Baby Don't Fall. I was going to call it No, No, Baby, Oh My God No Don't Fall, but it felt long. Just $19.95 for three Baby Don't Fall brand products, the design of which could go in a few different directions: a) foam blocks that fit snugly into the window requiring no tools to install, provided you have the correct window type, otherwise you'll need a contractor and a retrofit and a grant to pay for it once this thing gets out of class action and makes its way through the Supreme Court, buster, or b) an electrified design that produces in the child a tingling, warming sensation--make that warning sensation--although warming's appropriate too. These are just ideas.